Aidan's Asian Blog

Mosquito at 10 o'Clock
6th March

I woke this morning bitten to shreds by mosquitos, which is the first time the buggers have got me in weeks. Don’t know when it got into the room, probably followed the light and got in through one of the wide gaps around the window frames last night. I counted eight bites on my upper left arm and can feel countless number on my left shoulder.

I woke early (06:30) and was reading for a while when I caught sight of the little bugger flying around. He was obviously well fed and kept on taking a rest, which gave me the perfect opportunity to splatter him. But the little bugger was smart and kept on landing on my neatly strewn (around the room) clothes and I didn’t want to have squashed mozzie and blood to deal with. When he eventually settled on the wall I went to smack him, but my alcohol free blood must have given him super powers and the little ba$tard was hard to catch.

Plan A wasn’t working so I switched to Plan B (which incidentally is also a Dexy’s Midnight Runners song) and grabbed a copy of Mojo magazine. I’d paid nearly £5 GBP for the latest issue in Bangkok before I left so I had to get my moneys worth out of it. Now normally a newspaper or magazine is ample firepower when pitched against a mozzie, not this one though, he was super fast. After a couple of missed attempts he disappeared, couldn’t find him anywhere, was there no end to his super powers? Maybe he’d gone to get back up, I knew I hadn’t killed him because there was no splattered blood to be seen. I went back to reading my book and forgot about Super Mozzie.

I was getting into the shower later when I noticed that mozzie had returned. This mozzie was smart. He waited until I was at my most vulnerable to launch his next attack, his last attack I’m pleased to say. He attacked form the direction of the window with the sunlight behind him (this guy must have been watching old WW2 war films) and started his desent, but I was ready for him. I waited until he got about a foot away (when I could see the black of his eyes) and did a happy clap and splattered him. There was a reassuring mess on my palms when I opened my hands, a nice collage of blood (lots) and guts (not to many). By the looks of it he’d had a grand final supper, I just hope the rest of his family don’t come looking for me tonight.

Breakfast was toast and butter and a cup of coffee, still got to take it easy after the Delhi Belhi. The Indian diet is doing wonders for my weight loss though. I bought a couple of pairs of shorts in Chiang Mai a couple of weeks before I arrived here and they were on the tight (ish) side. I’ve now got to wear a belt, otherwise they are just being held up by my hips. So my weight loss tip for the day is this: Find a stagnant pool (make sure the water is rancid) and collect at least half a litre of this water. Next, return to your kitchen and prepare a salad. This is the important bit: once the salad is prepared wash (or better still, soak) the salad in this water and then serve as normal. It’s probably advisable to have lots of toilet paper in the house. Music recommendation: Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. Enjoy!