Break for the border…..

I intended to set off early this morning, so I set my alarm clock for 05:00 – as happens every time I set my alarm, I woke up half an hour before it was due to go off. I had a shower and packed and by the time I loaded the bike it was 05:50. I’m really glad that I did the reccy last night as it made a difficult part of the journey so much easier. Sarnath is a small town about ten kilometres from Varanasi; once I got there the road should have been easier to follow. I managed to make it most of the way there under my own steam, but I did stop and ask for directions twice along the way.

After I got past Sarnath I had a Brucie Bonus – the road signs were in English as well as Hind and I found Highway 29 easily enough. Ghazipur was an easy 69 kilometres away and the road was good, the scenery was changing from burnt out arid land to lush green. The ride really reminded me of my time spent in Goa and especially Kerala; it was nice to leave the city behind.

The towns were really whizzing by and I was enjoying the ride, the next big challenge was Gorakhpur. This was the town where I had to make a decision – do I continue to head North and cross the border at Siddhartha Nagar or head East and cross the border at Birganj. Siddhartha Nagar is a ride across minor roads and leaves me a much longer ride to Kathmandu, whereas Birganj is a much longer ride on the Indian side, but leaves me a straight ride to Kathmandu.

Gorakhpur was a nightmare. It is a real busy ‘crossroads’ town and none of the signs are in English. I stopped to get some petrol and got talking to some guy at the pumps, he told me the way to the border at Birganj and I followed his directions. I got hopelessly lost. I hadn’t a clue where I was or where I was going. I stopped and asked a couple of people for directions, but no one spoke English. I found a road that crossed a bridge so I took it, but it came to a roundabout after about 2kms and was stumped again. I stopped and asked someone the way to Birganj, but I couldn’t find anyone who spoke English. I was very stressed out by this stage and took the right hand turn.

I got a couple of km’s down the road and it turned into a dirt track, I did a U-turn and went back to the round-about and took the left turn. I hadn’t a clue where I was and I was trying to find someone who spoke English to hopefully get some directions. I was looking out for a doctors surgery as the odds were higher on finding an English speaker, I rode for a couple of more km’s and I was just about to turn around when I spotted an address on a roadside shop. I managed somehow to find my way onto one of the roads I was looking for. God only knows how I managed to find it, but somehow I did. A total accident.

I had originally intended to stop for the night in Gorakhpur as it was 200kms from Varanasi and a further 150 kms from the Nepal border, but by the time I reached there it was 11:00. I decided to continue on and try and make a run for the border and get through immigration and customs. Gorakhpur was a pain in the arse and it took me an hour to get back on the right road. Actually it wasn’t the right road as I had decided I was going to go through the Birganj border, but it was a road on the map so I decided to go for it. After Gorakhpur the road took a turn for the worse, the surface was ok, not too many potholes, but there were so many bumps in the road. I couldn’t ride over 60kph for most of the ride as anytime I rode over that speed, I spent more time in the air clinging to the handlebars, than I did in my seat.

I so nearly lost control of the bike at one stage when I hit a row of three dips (each about a foot dip) and the front of the bike went real light, the brakes didn’t do much good as they weren’t air brakes! I had to put up with the usual appalling driving from the Indian drivers and I lost count of the amount of times I had to swerve to avoid oncoming bikes, cars, 4wd’s, trucks and buses.

The border closes to traffic at 16:00 so I tried to put a sprint in, as I wanted to get out of India and have a clear run to Kathmandu in the morning. I passed a town called Mahrajganj, which is about 80kms from the border, and I noticed that when I pulled in the clutch the lever was hitting the handlebar – this shouldn’t happen. I pulled in at the next village (not on map) to buy some water and as I did so the engine cut out. I pulled in the clutch and tried to wheel the bike forward (as it was still in gear), but it was a real struggle; the clutch was definitely playing up. The bike was fine once it was in top gear and was really motoring, but it was a struggle to drop down the gears. I learned how to change up gears without using the clutch years ago and I used this technique to get me to the border.

I was looking out for the Himalayan Mountains and I took great joy in watching them unfold before me as I was riding along. I can’t believe that I’m so close to Mt. Everest and I can’t wait to see it in the flesh.

I was expecting a bit of hassle at the border as I read that the $30 USD visa is only accepted in $’s. I only have $13 dollars remaining from my time in Cambodia, but I decided to go for it anyway. I have never been through such an easier border crossing, it was an absolute doddle. The Indian side took no more than three minutes which, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting. I crossed into Nepal and went to Nepal Immigration and they couldn’t have been nicer. They asked me to show me my country on the world map and they couldn’t believe how small it is and we had a good laugh as they processed my paper work. The $30 USD visa lasts for 30 days; they gave me 60 days for the same price. They had no hesitation in taking 1500 Indian Rupees instead of the dollar, despite all the crap mentioned in the guidebooks.

I had to present my bike to customs on the Nepal side and that took about 40 minutes to get through, it also cost me nearly £30 GBP for my bike for one month – which I hadn’t been expecting. I then went to find a mechanic to have a look at my clutch and I came across one a couple of km’s up the road, he had a look at my bike, oiled my chain, cleaned my bike and more importantly adjusted the clutch and I’m pleased to say that the bike is working fine (touch wood). I’m really proud of my ‘iron horse’ today; I can live with a minor clutch adjustment after all the abuse I put the bike through.

Donkey Talk

Varanassi 15th May 2006

I woke up this morning and went to use the Internet before we had the first power cut of the day. I managed to use it for an hour before the power cut and even had time to update my blog.

When I left the Internet cafÈ I discovered that there were funny black things in the sky, I cast my memory back and remembered that they are called clouds! It had gone from bright sunshine to dark foreboding clouds in the space of an hour. There was a really strong wind and sand and dust was being blown everywhere, I put on my wraparounds and hat and headed down to the river. The river was really choppy and there was a sand storm blowing in from the exposed sandbank. The boatmen were tying their boats down, but still I was asked if I wanted to take a boat trip! These people just don’t give up. I stood on the banks of the Ganga for about twenty minutes, my face getting whipped by the flying sand, and it was nice to experience something other than extreme heat.

The rain never came though and the storm started to blow itself out, which is when I decided to check out my escape route for tomorrow morning. I think I’ve spotted the road that will eventually get me in the direction of Nepal, so I decided to do a reccy on my motorbike. I gave up after forty-five minutes. The traffic was just crazy, I managed to get as far as the Town Hall, which was on my map, so I know that I was going in the right direction, but I couldn’t continue, it was just too much. Biking is meant to be fun, this was slow torture. I went to a cafÈ I know and got speaking to the owner and I told him about my trip, actually, it was him who asked where I had been. As soon as he seen me he handed me a pale of water and told me to wash my face, when I checked in the bike mirrors my face was covered in what looked like soot, but it was a combination of sweat, sand, dust, rickshaw fumes (2-stroke) and diesel fumes.

He told me of another way to get to the road that goes through ‘new’ Varanassi and he even drew me a map. After I left the cafÈ, I dropped my bike back at the guesthouse and decided to walk the 4km to the railway station, which is on the road that I need. I followed the guy’s map and it did indeed take me to the station, which was amazing, as he couldn’t understand the map of Varanassi that I showed him. I even passed a ‘proper’ shopping centre on the way, and it had shops that sold Adidas and Lee! I had a quick walk around the train station and went to the Tourist Bungalow, as the guy in the cafÈ told me that the guy there is an expert on Nepal and how to get there. I tracked this guy down and he brought me into his office where I explained to him that I’m looking for a route to Nepal.

He brought me down this dusty corridor and we stopped at a table that was covered in dusty files and folders, it really was clichÈ stuff. The guy rummaged around for a minute or so and pulled out this big old journal and he started thumbing through it. When he found what he was looking for he put it away and then started going through one of the drawers on the desk, he even took the drawer out to find what he was looking for. He drew a blank and started going through some other files before pulling out a time stained map. He then took me through the quickest route to Nepal, which didn’t correspond to any of my own research. I decided to show him my map, published 2006, and his map didn’t have half of the roads (including the National Highway) on it. I tried to explain this to him, but he wasn’t listening, he was on a mission and he wasn’t going to listen to some tourist with a modern map. He ended up tracing a map by hand for me and putting the distance between all the towns in as well, I hadn’t got the heart to tell him that my map gives me all that information. It took him about half an hour to give me all this info and I was itching to get out of there, so I ended up grabbing the map from him and giving him a hearty Namaste.

I decided to be clever and take a different route back to my guesthouse. I took a road parallel to the one I came on and was doing well until it veered off in the other direction after 1km. I eventually found a turn that I thought would bring me back in the right direction and then came to a junction with four choices. I took what I thought was the right road and walked and walked and walked. I eventually came to a railway crossing (I never came across a crossing on my way to the station) and knew that I was totally lost. I had my map with me, but it’s not much use when all the signs are in Hindi. I took a guess and turned right and continued to walk, I came across a ‘truck graveyard’, it was actually a road of mechanics workshops, but there were some amazing wrecks of trucks there. Shame that I left my cameras back in the guesthouse.

I walked for a further half an hour, the sun was setting in the sky at this stage, so I decided to bite the bullet and get a cycle rickshaw. The guy told me that it would be 50 Rupees (about £0.40 GBP); as soon as we got a hundred yards down the road he told me that it would be 75 Rupees (nearly £1 GBP). He was taking the p1ss asking for 50 Rupees in the first place (I didn’t even bother haggling with him when he named his price and he would have charged a local 10 Rupees for the same trip), I told him that we agreed 50 Rupees and I’d jump out and he’d get no Rupees. He continued on in silence. We ended up passing Varanassi City railway station after a couple of minutes, I had a quick look on my map to see where we were and I had been walking in totally the wrong direction to get back to my guesthouse.

I got dropped off near Om cafÈ, where I had lunch earlier that day and found a bookshop. I had to replace the India guidebook I lost on my way to Chitrakoot and I was after one for Nepal as well, the shop had both. They didn’t have any second hand books, so I had to buy them new and the two books came to 2045 Rupees (which is a wallet busting £25 GBP)! That means I’m going to have to eat tree roots (which I learned about in Sapa, Vietnam) and sleep outdoors for the next week or so!

I got an email from Aby and Purdy the other day and they are just finishing up in S.E Asia, they are currently in Malaysia and having a great time by the sounds of it, they are head off to Oz next. I can’t wait to meet up with them back in the UK and share some memories / stories over a couple of beers.

Irish Buddha

Photo taken by Rishi at Laxmi (not correct spelling)Temple, Orchha

Ganga – Varanassi 14th May 2006

I was sitting on the roof top restaurant this evening about to type up the day’s events, when a song called ‘Brainwashed’ came on my ipod. It is the final song on the posthumous George Harrison album of the same name. George Harrison (ex-Beatle) died of cancer a couple of years ago and it is rumoured that his ashes were scattered in Varanassi on the Ganga River. The song starts off as an average pop / rock song and two minutes in a woman starts quoting from ‘How to know God’, a Hindi script and then goes back to pop / rock. Two minutes later and George Harrison starts chanting a Hindi prayer over tabla (drums). It’s quite moving listening to this after knowing what he went through in the final years of his life and the fact that his ashes were scattered on the river I was overlooking. I wrote the words below after listening to the song and recalling the day’s events.

The river can’t wash away this city
This city with five thousand years of history
Trampled into cobble stones
I’m walking by the river that holds so many bones

Timber piled up on the bank
Bodies burn, one per plank
So much death in this small town
A bloated corpse floats by facedown

Walking by the river that runs through this place
Gazing over history at my own pace
Miles and miles of men and women
I imagine all the footsteps I’m walking in

So many people in the morning rush
Young children that don’t have much
They’re running around in bare feet
Hassling tourists so they can eat

A beggar leaning on a wooden crutch
He’s not really asking for much
It’s sad that a town with so much history
Can’t or won’t feed it’s own family

Kids laughing and playing cricket
Wild dogs growling at a thicket
Water buffalo resting in the shade
A herd of cows dreaming of a glade

Eagles soaring overhead
I feel like being somewhere else instead
So much joy and so much hatred
I even see holy men sitting naked

I manage to find a secluded spot
I need a rest, as I’m so hot
The afternoon sun beating down
It’s time I got out of this town.

Ganga

I thought long and hard about publishing this photo. That's all I can say about it.

Varanassi 13th May

Liverpool F.A. Cup Winners 2006!

I woke early this morning, real early. I looked at my watch and it was 03:20, I wanted to get up and see the sunrise over the Ganga, but it was a little early even for that. I tried to nod back off to sleep for a couple of hours but couldn’t, so I listened to my ipod for two hours and got up at 05:30. I then noticed that the clock on my ipod showed 09:00. I checked the time on my mobile phone and sure enough it said that it was 09:00, somehow my watch had lost time during the night, although it was still working. Maybe it’s the work of the Gods….

I had an action packed day planned, that is to say I had to find somewhere to watch the Liverpool v West Ham F.A Cup Final match and do a bit more research on Nepal. My hotel doesn’t have any TV’s, so they couldn’t help me, I tried several other hotels and those that did have TV’s didn’t have the sports channels. My best bet was going on the Internet and finding a link to a site that is broadcasting the game.

I took a walk down the Ghats in the late morning and managed to find a quiet Ghat, well it was quiet until I sat down. Then half of the town descended on me and I didn’t get a moments peace. The first person to come by was a little kid who looked about four although he was probably six or seven, and he brought with him two water buffalo, who proceeded to sh1t and p1ss on the steps about five feet in front of me. The kid then started hitting the buffalo with a bit of bamboo cane he was carrying and they scuttled off to join their mates in the Ganga. Next came his dad (I presume) who proceeds to have a ‘sword’ fight with his son and they were both screaming at each other. Next I had some guy come over and ask me if I liked massages and he offered me a free one! Politely declined, I hasten to add.. I left after about five minutes.

I’ve noticed that all the people in this town are pretty small, compared to me anyway. In Delhi and especially Rajastan, people are pretty tall and even taller that me (I’m only six foot tall), but here, I’m at least half a head or a head taller than most people, just shows that all that swimming in the Ganga does no good.

I went to the Internet café at 19:00 and checked the BBC Radio website and they said that they were doing live commentary of the match, so I double clicked on the link and made the connection. I then got a pre-recorded message telling me that ‘due to contractual obligations’ they weren’t streaming the content on the Internet. I checked one of the Liverpool message boards and I got a link to the game from China, which was showing the game but with Chinese commentary. I clicked on the link and downloaded the software, and as the download completed the power went off!

I just wasn’t destined to watch / listen to this game. I spoke to the guy in the café and he told me that his generator had been running all day and he can’t switch it on this evening because it’s overheating. He told me to wait an hour and the power would be back on. I had a beer and waited. I tried to call my brother, Owen, in Ireland but I kept on getting a message saying ‘call rejected’. The same happened when I tried to call my brother Daniel, in London, so I put my phone away and chatted to the owner as we waited for power to be restored. I tried to ring Owen again and noticed that I had a missed call (no details who called though), I hadn’t heard my phone ring because of the noise of the traffic, but had a feeling it could have been from Owen updating me with the score.

As we were sitting outside the café some guy came up to me and said, “mosquito, inside”. I didn’t have a clue why he was telling me about mosquitos at this stage as I’d been sitting there for forty-five minutes by then, but I followed him inside. Next think I know, a tractor is coming down the road followed by a big cloud of mosquito repellent. Apparently, once or twice a month the Town Council (or whatever they have here) decides to spray the town with mosquito repellent. Varanassi is over five thousand years old (they say it’s the oldest city in the world) so they probably have plenty of experience of dealing with mosquitos.

The power came on just after 20:00, which meant that I had missed the first hour and twenty minutes, so I quickly went to the BBC website to check the score. There was a problem with the connection and the page wouldn’t open, so I had to re-boot (and I really did feel like booting the computer) and after another five minutes I was able to see the score. Liverpool 2 – 3 West Ham! I was gutted, 2-3 down with nine minutes to go. I know we specialise in Great Cup Finals ™, but I really thought that we’d run out of luck on this one. I opened another browser window and went to a Liverpool chat site and discovered that we had just equalised through Stephen Gerrard in added time and that the game was still very much on. Owen rang and asked if I was watching the match (I wish) and as I was explaining to him what I had gone through, and just after he warned me that his phone might die, his phone died!

I followed extra time on the website but the power went just as the game was ending! I couldn’t believe it, I really wasn’t meant to watch this game! I quickly (for India) settled my bill and tried to find another Internet café to follow the penalty shoot out. It took me fifteen minutes to find a place that was open and the game was well and truly over by then, but I had to know the score as there was no way I was going to sleep wondering if we’d won or not. It was with great trepidation that I clicked onto the BBC website. LIVERPOOL HAD WON! 3-1 on penalties, goooo ooooonnnnnn! Superb! What a season, real progress made in the Premiership, Super Cup and F.A. Cup winners. Onwards and upwards!

Murals

Some murals on the Ghats at Varanassi

Varanassi 12th May 2006

I went down to the Ghats at 10:00am today, that way I missed the sunrise rush and it should have been quieter, and I’m glad to say it was. That’s not to say that I wasn’t hassled as soon as I walked out of my guesthouse, because I was. Why would I want a rickshaw to the Ghats when they are about twenty metres away from the guesthouse? Funny people.

I did get a few requests for boat rides, but it was much less intense than my visit yesterday evening. I walked the complete length of the Ghats, which took over an hour. There were loads of people washing their clothes in the Ganga (Ganges), I’m not sure if that would actually get the clothes any cleaner though. There were plenty of people giving their own ‘blessings’ to the river by pissing on the Ghat walls and this gave off a lovely aroma in the blasting heat.

I passed a number of burning Ghats, which they use to cremate people and I had the pleasure of seeing someone burning. I got there just as they were about to put another body on the Ghat and was invited to watch from the ‘gallery’, I declined this kind offer and made my way along the ghats, only to see something a lot worse. I came across a bloated corpse floating face down along the river. I had the classic dilemma of should I record the event or not? I thought about it for a while and if I didn’t record it and document it, it would be as though I hadn’t witnessed it, so I took a photo. I had thought about putting it on the blog site, but I’ll spare you that.

I trying to think where to go to next. I was going to go towards Bod Gaya, which is where Buddha found enlightenment, to see if any of it will rub off on me. I also fancy going to Nepal, now that the political tension seems to have eased. I’ve checked www.horizonsunlimited.com, which is a motorbike travel website and a few people have travelled through Nepal in the last couple of weeks and report no problems. Looking at the map it’ll probably take three days to get to Kathmandu from here and a further two days if I want to get to Sagarmatha – Goddess of the sky, which is probably better known in the West as Mount Everest.

Some hours later……..

I put an advert on the ‘travellers seeking travellers’ section of the horizonsunlimited website and I got two replies back from guys that are currently there. One of the guys is German and he’s on a RTW (round the world) trip, it looks like they are going to in Khatmandu until 17th May and then heading west and then up to the mountains in North India. If I leave here on Sunday, I should be able to make it to Khatmandu for the 17th. It’ll be good to travel with a couple of bikers for a few weeks, the only other people I’ve met on Enfield’s here are Israeli guys who have just finished in the army. I’d rather travel on my own that put up with them.

I’ve been checking out where to watch the Liverpool v West Ham F.A Cup final tomorrow, but I can’t find anywhere that is showing it. I tried to ask the guy on reception here, but he didn’t understand me, I’ll try again in the morning when someone else should be on the desk.

Cheer up, it's your wedding day!

Miserable looking bride and groom from wedding I went to in Orchha.

Varanassi 11th May 2006

I woke up just before 03:00 this morning and was lying in a pool of sweat. The room was roasting last night despite an overhead fan and a room cooler. I pulled the bed directly in front of the cooler and positioned myself under the fan, so I got to sleep easily enough. But as is there want in India, someone came around and switched off the master power switch from outside the room!

It was probably just as well that I woke up early anyway as I was having a really weird dream. In it Kevin Rowland from Dexy’s Midnight Runners opened up a shop near my family home in Dublin. As a big Dexy’s fan I went back to Ireland to see what the shop was all about, turns out it was a café. There was an early Dexy’s song called ‘The teams that meet in café’s’, but I’m not sure if this had anything to do with the dream. There was also a big Indian festival going on in the backfield near the house and the whole area was taken over by Asians. I went to the café to order some food and Kevin (first name terms now!) was behind the counter looking really sharp in a ‘60’s style suite, cap and pencil moustache. He was belting out songs as he was serving the food, but for some reason stopped singing when he went to check the chips. I ended up getting on a bus with some of Kevin’s chips and showing some of the Indians around the local area. It was at this point that I woke up.

I did manage to nod off again for a couple of hours and finally got up at 06:15 and I was on the road by 06:55. I really wanted to get to Varanassi in one go, as I didn’t fancy spending the night in some out of the way town again. I found the road to Allahabad fairly easily and the next two and a half hours saw me ride on a variety of surfaces at various speeds and I made it to Allahabad in good time (for India). I did have one incident as I approached a very small village. The bike started spluttering and I thought, “sh1t, not another push rod, I’m never going to get a spare from this place”. The bike started to die so I pulled over and had a look at the right hand side of the engine – why I don’t know! I then looked at the other side only to see that the fuel pump had worked it self loose (damn bumps) and petrol was flowing onto the hot engine. I managed to reconnect the pump and set off down the road very relieved. The road to Varanassi was well signposted and other than heavy traffic, Allahabad was easy enough to skirt around. I’m not going to go on about Indian drivers again, let’s just say that they are the worst drivers I have ever come across.

There were no signs in English to tell me if I was approaching Varanassi, even the usually reliable Km markers at the roadside were absent. I’ve been trying to learn some of the Hindi characters as I’m riding along, by which I mean when (if) the sign is in Hindi and English I try to memorise a couple of the characters so that I’ll have some idea where I am. I did cross a big river and had a look to see if I could see any Ghats, but although there were buildings dotted along the riverfront, I couldn’t see the Ghats. I was also expecting there to be a road leading off to the left before the bridge (according to my map), but I didn’t see it. I carried on across the bridge and about 10 kms later the bike started spluttering, I had a quick look at the fuel pump to see if it had came loose and unfortunately it hadn’t, unfortunately because that is a quick fix that even I can manage. I thought that I may have been running low on fuel so I switched to the reserve tank, but the spluttering continued for the next ten kilometres. I saw a petrol station in the distance and decided to fuel up and if the bike wouldn’t start, they may have been able to get a mechanic.

I asked the guy manning the pumps how far it was to Varanassi and he told me that I’d passed it 20 kms ago! I decided to bite the bullet (pun intended) and risk the trip back to Varanassi where I should be able to find someone to take a look it. But lo and behold, she started running fine again; maybe it was her way of telling me that I’d missed my turn. I got back to the other side of the bridge and had a look for the road, which would take me down to the Ghats. There was a dirt track leading under the bridge and I asked one of the locals if it would get me to the Ghats and he said it would. The road was as bad as any I’d been on during the last couple of days and it took me about twenty minutes to travel what must have been a couple of km’s. I had been told about a quiet-ish Ghat and been given the name of a hotel, which I made a note of in my Lonely Planet, but with the Lonely Planet on some roadside somewhere in Panna I was alone.

More by luck than any kind of planning, I found the Ghat that I had been recommended (Assi)) and I think I’m in the hotel that I wanted! I got a room for 150 Rupee (just under £2 GBP), it’s a bit pokey, in fact the bathroom is a big as the sleeping area, but it’s very clean and does free yoga and meditation classes. I had a quick shower but couldn’t lie down on the bed because of the effects of riding on the bad roads for six hours! I found an Internet café and caught up on some emails and had a couple of beers during the two hours I was there. I then went for a stroll down to the Ghats to be overwhelmed by the Spirituality of the Ganga (Ganges). Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m tired after riding all day, but I was distinctly under whelmed. The Ganga is the great holy river of Hindus, I wonder why they piss into it and crap all along the riverbank? I was hassled from the moment I stepped onto the first Ghat until I escaped onto the road about halfway down. Every time I stopped to try and take in some of the (I’m struggling for a word here) “atmosphere” I was approached by people trying to direct me to their clothes shops, buy candles / flowers or take a boat ride. There were gangs of kids playing cricket along the Ghats and I didn’t feel any Spirituality about the place. Personally, I think the Ghats at Pushkar are a lot more (don’t know if this is the right word) impressive.

I wandered down the back lanes for ten minutes dodging rickshaw wallas and when I got to the ‘main road’ it was at a standstill. It was rush hour and there were a heard of water buffalo, a wedding band and an elephant all-trying to use the same bit of road. Not to mention the rickshaws, bicycles, motorbikes and cars – pure chaos. I went back to my hotel to eat and I had mashed potato and mixed vegetables, which was nice and plain. I’ll try and get up early tomorrow morning to see the Ghats at sunrise; maybe some of the Spirituality will be around then.

Ghats

View of the Ghats at Varanassi
On the building on the left is a sign for a hotel. In 1978 the water level reached that sign! The river at this point is about half a mile wide, so you can just imagine the volume of water!

Chitrakoot 10th May 2006

“We don’t have Chicken Tandoori”
“Well can I have the Fish Tikka”?
“We don’t have Fish Tikka”
“Can I have the Mutton Roast”?
“Sir, we only have vegetable”
“Why, is the restaurant not open yet” (it’s 18:00)
“Yes sir, restaurant is open, but we only have vegetable”
“The menu says that you have meat dishes”
“Yes sir, we only have vegetable”.

“Ok, give me a minute and I’ll choose something, in the meantime can I have a milk coffee without sugar”?
“Without sugar sir”?
“Yes, without sugar”
“How many coffee’s would you like”?
I felt like saying one for me and three for my invisible friends
“Just the one please”

Waiter returns five minutes later with a milk coffee and sugar.
“Can I order two Masala Papad, one Vegetable Pulao and Vegetable Pakora”?
“Yes sir, would you like them now”?
This bloke could have entered Mastermind and his specialist subject could have been ‘Stating the Bleedin’ Obvious’
“Yes please”

It had been a long days ride getting here, I only covered 150kms, but it took me from 09:00, until 16:00. An average speed of just over 22 kilometres per hour! The road I was on was easily the worst road that I had ever ridden on. I’ve been on worse roads, the one from Poipet to Seim Reip springs to mind, but I wasn’t riding a motorbike at the time. The road had started off promising enough with one good size lane on either side, but after about 20 kilometres it narrowed down to a single lane (with a bit of pressed dirt on either side for vehicles to move onto when two meet. Which is ok when you are in a car, bus, lorry or cart, but not a lot of fun when manic bus drivers or four-wheel drives force you onto it. I lost count of the amount of times I found myself in the dirt and I nearly lost the front wheel on a couple of occasions.

The road improved again and turned into two lanes, 1 ½ for motor vehicles and a tiny strip for me! I then passed through a tiger reserve, I had seen the signs for it and I passed the entrance, but about five kilometres later I went by a sign which said that I was now in the reserve and please do not feed the animals! Like I was going to stop and share my leg with a tiger! The road was excellent as it twisted and turned into the hills, and I was able to motor along at 60kph. I was really enjoying it, but my joy didn’t last long as the road soon deteriorated to a pot-holed dirt track. Not a lot of fun to ride on.

After about twenty minutes the road got a bit better although I was still getting shaken to bits by the potholes I couldn’t avoid. I came to a T Junction and that was the time for me to take a left. I entered a small town and the road became a jumble of potholes again and I was going along at 10 kph. I came to a roundabout with two roads leading off it, both looked like ‘major’ roads so I had a 50-50 chance of getting it right. I took the right hand exit and came out the other side of the town about five minutes later, and the road soon deteriorated once again. I rode down the road and it gradually got worse until I was riding on loose rocks and dirt, the road didn’t look like getting better any time soon so I decided to head back to the roundabout and take the other turning, this detour cost me an hour.

I got back to the roundabout and stopped at a shop selling water, I bought two litres and filled up my water bottle. I asked the guy in the shop, which was the road to Chitrakoot, and he pointed to the road leading left. The road started out pretty good (for India) but soon ended up like the other roads I had been riding on today. It looked as though the roads hadn’t been surfaced since the Raj era. And then suddenly it was like I had woke from a nightmare, the road surface turned into fresh blacktop and I was able to zip along at 80 kph. There was little traffic loads of bends that I could see around and it was a joy to ride. I was riding this section of the road for twenty minutes and I came upon the road crew laying the road. There were about thirty men and women (mostly women) and it looked as though they were laying the tarmac by hand, they probably weren’t, but I was concentrating too much trying to weave through them to pay much attention. I feared that the road would deteriorate once again, but it was mainly good for the next fifty or so kilometres.

To cut a long story short, I eventually ended up in Chitrakoot at about 16:00 and was shattered. I had a ride through the town and could see nothing of interest. I had been told to go here by a number of people and my roadmap says that it is a place of interest. I booked in at the only hotel I could find, ‘Tourist Bungalow’ and got charged 450 Rupees (£5.60 GBP) for the pleasure. I had a shower and washed some clothes and watched a bit of TV before I went for a walk in the town. I had been told by various people that Chitrakoot is hassle free and really relaxing, I wonder how long ago they were here?

I came across the river and bathing Ghats and I was hassled by numerous people to take a boat ride, visit a temple or come to my shop. Impressed not I was (as Yoda would say). I also had numerous naked men say hello to me! I declined their polite offer of conversation and continued my walk along the Ghats. I got p1ssed off getting hassled and made my way back to the hotel and went to have something to eat in the restaurant.

The food, by the way, was excellent, really tasty. Whilst I was waiting I went to my room and got my laptop and started typing this blog. I had a look at the menu a couple of time whilst I was typing, just to double check what I had ordered. The staff seen me do this and the next thing I know, the manager comes to my table and introduces himself. He then brings the food out, the dumb waiter had disappeared, and the chef comes out five minutes later to introduce himself. The service was excellent and I’ve no doubt that they think I’m from the Lonely Planet or something similar, I must try this again! Speaking of the Lonely Planet, I lost my book today. I had it on the back of my bike secured with a bungee cord, but it must have came loose as I was bumping along, not that Chitrakoot is in the book mind you.

All in all, it was a waste of a day and if you’ve ever got a few days spare in India, don’t bother spending it here! I’m going to try and get to Varanassi tomorrow, which is about 300km away. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make that in one day though, so I’ll see how I’m getting on by the time I reach Allahbad which is 135 kms away.

The main road to Chitrakoot

This photo was taken on a "good section" of the road, that's to say that it had a small strip of pot-holed tarmac. It was fun meeting another vehicle coming the other way.

Khajuraho 9th May 2006

Another early morning, must be the heat. I was out of the guesthouse by 07:00 and I thought that I’d have to double back on my journey here and go to the town that I broke down in yesterday, as I was told that there is no international cash machine in here. I decided I’d double check the ATM situation with reception before I made the 88km round trip, as you have to take anything that anyone tells you in India with very large pinch of salt. Sure enough, the guy told me that there is an ATM less than five minutes walk away.

I decided to visit the temples before it got too hot and paid my 250 Rupees (£3GBP) and the locals paid their 10 Rupees (8 pence). The temple complex is a World Heritage Site (I’m losing count of the amount of WHS’s that I’ve visited on this trip) and the grounds are absolutely superb. There are about ten main temples in the grounds and many of them have got erotic carvings, and by erotic I mean plain dirty. There are carvings of men shagging horses, orgies and 1-1 sex, and to think that these carvings were made over a thousand years ago. I spent an hour and a half wandering around the temples and even at 09:00 I was sweating due to the heat of the sun.

There are more temples to the East of the town and I decided to visit these by my motorcycle. I found them easily enough and even before I had stopped my bike I was hassled by touts trying to get me to visit their shops. I duly ignored them and spent ¾’s of an hour wandering around the three main temples here. As I was jumping back on my bike one of the touts wanted to get on the back and kindly offered to take be my guide for the day. It was 10:00 by this stage and I’d seen all the main temples so I declined his kind offer and sped away before I got more hassle.

I went to try and track down a copy of the newspaper that interviewed me yesterday, but there is only one shop that sells newspapers in the town so I bought the only newspaper they had. It was the wrong one. The editor told me to give him a ring if I couldn’t get a copy, so I’ll give him a call in the morning and see if he can get me one.

I’d been awake since 04:00, so I had some lunch and crashed out in my room for nearly three hours and didn’t emerge until the heat dropped. I bumped into three Italians who I met briefly in Orchha and we had a walk around the town and had something to eat. I had a mutton curry, which was pants and overpriced. I went back to the guesthouse after that, had a beer and have decided to pack as I want to get out of here tomorrow. As I was having my beer, one of the locals got talking to me (is there no escape) and he started asking me how to chat up a Western women. Now, you won’t get the best advice about chatting up Western women from a single guy! The main ‘secret’ I told him is not to follow them down the street in packs hassling them! I told him I had to ring my brother and eventually got rid of him. I’ll head to Varanassi, which is 410km’s away, hopefully I’ll make it in one go if the roads are decent!

Khajuraho Carvings

One of the many "interesting" carvings on the temples at Khajuraho.

Breakdown! 8th May 2006

I woke up early feeling really refreshed and was all set to leave Orchha. I could see Angeli and Rishi outside my door through a gap in the curtains. It was 07:10! I had a shower and finished packing my rucksack and loaded up my bike. The two kids were hanging around and they asked me if I’m definitely coming back in June and I told them (again) that I would really try. I couldn’t give them an answer though, when they asked me the exact date that I was returning. Kumkum was sitting on the doorstep in her pyjamas looking forlorn. The uncles and parents were out in force to say goodbye to me, I called the two kids around the corner to say goodbye to them and gave Rishi 50 Rupees to get his spokes fixed and Angeli 15 Rupees to buy some sweets. They gave me a big hug and I had to pull myself away from them.

I was on the road by 07:50, the sun was already hot and the road was clear. I made good progress until I got near a town called Chhatarpur, which is about 100 km from Orchha. The bike started spluttering (technical term!) and I thought that I might have got some “dirty” fuel when I filled up about 30 km’s earlier, so I decided to carry on and hope that it would clear itself. As I entered the town I noticed dozens of mechanic shops, I’d never seen as many in one stretch. I had run out of water about half an hour before and was really thirsty and I didn’t see one shop other than mechanics or electrical shops in the main bit of the town, I decided to carry on and stop further up the road. The bike was still spluttering along and I noticed a shop selling cola, so I pulled in, and as I stopped the bike some guy walked over and asked me what was wrong with it. I told him that I thought it was a fuel problem, and that I was going to get a drink before I even thought about it. I sat there for half an hour and had two bottles of Fanta (600ml each) and a litre of water and then had a word with the guy.

Turns out that he is a mechanic and his workshop was right beside where I bought the water. I checked the oil (full) and the fuel line (seemed clear) and then asked him to have a look at it. He kicked the engine over once or twice and there was an audible “click” coming from it. He took off the tappet cover and told me that the push rod was bent. The mechanic who serviced my bike in Orchha had adjusted it and obviously didn’t do it right and it got damaged during my ride. He stripped the top of the engine down (took him about two minutes), took out the bent part and cycled off down the road to get a new part from the Enfield agent. I got myself another litre of water and chatted with the locals and a smooth looking guy in shades came up to me and introduced himself as the editor of the Something or other Express (the name escapes me at the moment) and he asked me if it was ok if he interviews me for the paper. He pointed out where his office was and I told him that I’d pop over once I got the bike sorted. About twenty minutes later the mechanic comes back and fits the part, the bike starts second kick and sounded much better that it has for a while. The bill came to 385 Rupees (which at the current rate is £4.81 GBP), not bad for an hour and a half’s breakdown, including parts.

I went over to see the editor and met the rest of the papers staff. I spent about an hour there and he asked me all sorts of questions about where I came from and what I thought about India. “What do you think of the people?”, “very nice but can be a bit intrusive at times”, “What do you think on the roads?”, “some of the roads are really good, especially the toll roads, but the drivers are crazy”. “What do you think of the women?”, “I get the feeling that I can look but can’t touch”, “What do you think of the food?”, “most of it is really nice, the nicest food I’ve had on my trip so far (white lie)”, “Can you tell me a funny story?”. Blah Blah Blah. They then took some photos of me reading the paper and some of me on my bike. They also want me to return to their offices and let them know what I thought of Khajuraho. And that’s how I became a roving reporter for the Something or other Express! The interview will be in the paper tomorrow, so I’ll buy a copy of it and take a photo of the article and put it on the blog. Did I mention that it’ll be all in Hindi?

I then hopped on my bike and missed my turn and ended up taking an 80 km detour, which I didn’t really need in the heat. I booked in at the Zen Hotel which Estelle recommend and had a lovely tuna pizza and a beer. I ventured out at in the evening and got an endless stream of hassle, I’m certainly not in Orchha any more. Maybe it was the two weeks spent in Orchha, maybe it was the tiring ride here today, but I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to any of the locals tonight.

As soon as I stepped out of the hotel I was hassled by someone wanting to “practice his English” (i.e. sell me something) and he wouldn’t leave me alone, I crossed the road and he followed me, I ended up turning around to him and telling him to leave me alone in a stern voice, and he took the hint. It didn’t stop the others though and I eventually turned around and went back to the hotel, maybe it won’t seem as bad tomorrow.

Krishna and Sister

Krishna and Sister, Orchha. The black make-up is put around kids eyes to make them unattractive to the Spirts (who may take them otherwise).

Farewell Orchha – Take Two, 7th May 2006

I didn’t sleep well last night, and even though I was knackered by the time I got to sleep I ended up waking up at about 06:30. At 07:00 I heard a little knock on my door and I then hear Rishi tell Angeli to stop knocking, well I presume that’s what he said as it was in Hindi and the knocking stopped. Well it stopped for about five minutes and I decided to get up as I’d told the kids that I’d be leaving early and they obviously wanted to see me before I went.

It was around that time that I decided to stay another day, as I don’t like riding on these roads if I’m not feeling 100%. When I told them, they were delighted; Rishi high fived me and Angeli held her arms in the air – the sign for me to throw her over my head. Rishi then told me that he would bring me to see some more temples and gods after ten when he has finished his homework. We then went to the temple we visited yesterday when my camera packed up and Rishi took some photos of the gods there, he’s really enjoying using the camera and is even getting a bit cocky using it. There were a couple of guys restoring / renovating some grilles and Rishi asked them if he could take a photo and they asked him for money (not an uncommon occurrence over here), so Rishi walked off. I then noticed him turn around and zoom in and take a photo, he ran over to me grinning like a Cheshire cat and was so proud of his paparazzi work, I told him that he shouldn’t take photos if people didn’t want them taken. I also told him that if he had just zoomed in on them in the first place they wouldn’t have refused! We went back to the guesthouse and I then tightened the chain and a few bit of pieces on Rishi's bike, as his chain kept on jumping off, but I couldn’t repair the missing spoke or buckled wheel.

I then went to Ram Raja restaurant, which is mine and Andys usual hangout, but the owner told me that he was in the Raj Mahal, so we must have just missed him. I hung around and had something to eat and Rishi went home because it was too hot for him. I got back to the hotel early in the afternoon and settled my bill (£46 GBP for 13 nights), that way I would have to leave the next day – well, unless I decided to pay and settle my bill again… Kumkum came to my room around 16:00 and asked me if I could take the photos of her, I said I would, so she went off to get changed. She came back in a Sari and asked me to take some photos of her in my room! I told her that it would be best if we took them outside, as it would be getting dark soon. I took the photos and then she went off and got changed into more casual gear and asked me to take some more. She then asked for my address, so I wrote it on the back of a photograph of a field of sunflowers I took near Chandigar. She loved the photo so I asked her to choose a couple more from some I’ve had developed. She then got her photo album and showed me loads of photos of her and told me to take one. I told her that I couldn’t as they were all so nice, so she is going to get one of the negatives printed and send it to me.

Rishi asked me to take some photos of his family, so I spent half an hour in the garden; I was armed with one camera and Rishi with the other. I said goodbye to the family and told them that maybe I’d see them in the morning before I left. I then went to Ram Raja restaurant to see if Andy was around. I got there and found him with Estelle, and as we were chatting the owner brought out a garland of flowers and a birthday cake for Estelle. He must have heard us over talking the night before as none of us mentioned it to him, it was a really nice gesture and Estelle was delighted. It was around this time that Rishi rode by (no handed) on his bicycle. I told him to sit down with us and have a cola, but he wouldn’t, as he’s a bit too polite. There was a big power cut just then and he didn’t want to cycle home in the dark in case he hit a cow or a dog. So he sat down and ate some of Estelle’s cake and joined in the conversation. It was then that I noticed that he had stopped saying “yes” and had shortened it to “yeah”, sh1t, no doubt that I’d be blamed for that! All night he kept on saying “yeah” and we had to tell him that it wasn’t proper English, even though the three of us kept saying it! I had promised the restaurant owner that I’d take photos of him and his family before I went and proceeded to once his wife got back from a wedding. My able assistant, Rishi, happily snapped away and we got some really good photos, which I’ve promised to give them when I’m back in town (or post if I’m not). I got back to the guesthouse early and was in bed by 23:00. Tomorrow I leave…

Old Colonial House

Old Colonial House falling into disrepair - Shimla

Farewell Orchha – 6th May 2006

I made up my mind to leave today, I’ve been here nearly two weeks and it’s time to move on. Rishi and his sister, Angeli, knocked on my door at 08:30 and wanted to know if I wanted to come out and see some more Gods. Rishi had to do his English homework first though, so we didn’t actually leave the guesthouse until just after 10:00. Although he’s off school for the summer his dad has bought him a couple of English books and sets him lessons and gets him to copy paragraphs to improve his writing (I wouldn’t mind, but his English writing puts me to shame!).

We walked down to the Raj Mahal and he pointed out lots of temples and gods to me, one of which was a stone painted orange. My replacement camera (the one I was given in Bangkok) gave up the ghost as we were walking around the temples today. Rishi was using it (I’ve been teaching him photography) and he wanted to know why it made a funny beep, so I had a look at it. When I switched it on a message came on the screen telling me to switch off the camera due to overheating. It was between 40c and 44c (depending on who you ask) and most electrical equipment is designed to work up to 40c. All my equipment is permanently hot and I have to restrict its use. The CD / DVD player on my laptop has given up the ghost as well and my ipod keeps pausing for no reason (well apart from the intense heat). As usual he was an excellent and informative guide (don’t forget that he’s only ten years old) and he’ll go on forever on just a Sprite and a packet of salty peanuts. His sister spent most of the time being spun around by her hands or being thrown above my head! Either way I was knackered.

Angeli, who hasn’t got much / any English started calling me Uncle today; Rishi calls me his best friend. I call him ‘Mother’ sometimes (because he’s so sensible for a ten year old) which really winds him up and he shouts back; “I am not your mother” and then I tell him to stop nagging me! It’s been really nice hanging around with the kids for the last couple of weeks, I’m used to interacting with cousins and nieces and this is the first guesthouse that I’ve stayed in that has had kids in.

I also met their cousin, who is fourteen years old. She came into the garden in the afternoon when Rishi was playing chess on my computer and I was throwing Angeli over my head. She asked me if she could use the computer as she has one in school, so I told her she could. So she writes me a paragraph all about herself:

MY name is kumkum vaidya . I am 14 years old. I am student of 9th class. My fathers name is Vinod vaidya and my mothers name is Mandve vaidya. I have one brother . i live in Orchha. My hobbies are singing, dancing and reading.

And then I couldn’t get rid of her! She started following me around and asked me to take some photos of her, she then asked if it would be ok if she wrote to me and would I write back. I told her that I’d take some photos the next day as I had to go out and meet some friends and of course I’d write, but it would be easier if she had an e-mail address.

I then had to break the news to Rishi and Angeli that I was leaving the next day and when I did Rishi was really upset. He wouldn’t leave my side for the rest of the evening and he told me that he’d really miss me and wanted to know when I was coming back. I told him that I’d try and get back in June, as I should be passing that way on my way to Kashmir and the Betwa river should be overflowing by then which would be nice to see. I then told Rishi’s uncle (who runs the guesthouse) that I was leaving in the morning and he asked me to have a meal with his family that night, as I “was part of the family”. I told him that he didn’t have to go to the effort, and thanks for the offer, but he insisted, so I said ok. It was shortly after this that Rishi invited me to dinner with his family! I told him that his uncle had already invited me so it would be best if he spoke to him, his uncle was fine and insisted that I have dinner with Rishi’s family. They all live more or less together anyway, that is to say three families (all related) live in three houses opening on to one courtyard (where some of them sleep in the hot weather).

I went to the Internet café to try and update my blog and website and met an English girl, Estelle, in there. Well to be truthful, Rishi and I met an English girl in there, as he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I managed to update two photos on my website and had to give up with the blog as the connection was so slow. Hopefully the connection will be better in Khajuraho.

I played around with the kids until just after 19:00 and then I went to their house. It’s a funny little arrangement they have, probably perfectly normal or maybe even middle class by Indian standards though. The entrance door leads into on room with a TV and two wooden bases for sitting on during the day, at night they roll out two mattresses and turn them into bed. There is a small concrete staircase leading up to the kitchen, which also doubles up as the kid’s bedroom. The downstairs room has another door leading out into the shared courtyard, which as I said earlier doubles up as a sleeping area in the summer.

Rishi put on the TV for me, this involved putting two live wires into a plug socket on the wall and wriggling them around until the TV stayed on; he’s ten years old. He then had to go on the roof and adjust the satellite dish until the signal stabilised; Angelie was shouting to him to let him know when the picture was clear; she’s six years old. Rishi has got an overgrown nail on his right thumb and I never asked him about it, but when I “gave out” to him for putting the live wires into the plug socket, he told me that it was ok and told me about his experience of Electric City (electricity). When he was around five he was messing around with live wires (as any five year old does) and he got a blast of Electric City, which took a chunk out of the top of his thumb and a bit of his right index finger. Not a bother to him though, as he’s got another eight digits to main. Welcome to India!

Just as I settled on the wooden base, the electricity cut out. I have a torch and a couple of candles in my room so I fetched them, and that is how I came to have a candle lit dinner with a fourteen year old girl called KumKum! Dinner was really nice; I had curried ladies fingers (Okra), a spicy potato dish, a spinach dish and a tomato and onion salad. I was going to say that it was all washed down with a traditional Indian curd drink, but I couldn’t drink it, it just wouldn’t agree with me, so it had to be mineral water.

I left there just before 21:00 and had arranged to take some photos of Kumkum in the morning before I left. I met up with Andy and Estelle and we had a couple of beers and said goodbye as we were all heading off the next day. I got back to my guesthouse around midnight and gave my brother in Ireland a ring, I ended up on the phone to him for nearly forty minutes (goodbye credit!) and then watched the news on BBC World and crashed out.

Hanuman

Hanuman Temple, Karol Bagh, New Delhi

Orchha 5th May 2006

Rishi wanted to take be back to see the Lakshmi temple today, so I decided to go to the Raj Mahal first, which is the only place that sells tickets to all the temples. The temples here are really good value, 50 Rupees (about 60 pence) buys entrance to the three main temples in the town. That is terrific value compared to 750 Rupees (nearly £10.00 GBP) to see the Taj Mahal and I personally prefer to abandoned temples in Orchha to the chocolate box Taj. I’ve spoken to a number of travellers about the Taj and there is a 50:50 divide when it comes to the Taj, most of the women think it is the most beautiful monument to love blah blah, most of the guys love clambering around the abandoned the temples! Men are from mars……

Seeing as though I was going to the Raj Mahal it would have been a shame not to climb to the top of it and chill out (if I’ve any more chilling out left in me) for an hour. It was a sweaty climb, the temperature was pushing 40c (about 104fh) but there was a nice breeze at the top and I had an ice-cold bottle of water to keep me company. I stayed there for just over an hour and I didn’t see one other person in the temple during that time. It was just after 12:00 when I had some lunch and then I met up with Andy and we both headed off to the internet café. Andy has had the patience to work with the really slow connection,and it was the first time in a couple of weeks that I did some emailing and I ended up spending two hours in there and there wasn’t one power cut during that time.

I met up with Rishi and he didn’t want to walk to Lakshmi temple so he let me borrow his cousins bike. His cousins bike is pink (it was his elder sisters) and is pretty small (for an adult anyway) and doesn’t have any gears. When I cycled my knees were level with my upper chest which must of looked a sight, it seemed to amuse the locals though, especially the women for some reason! A lot of the time a woman will ignore or not make eye contact with a man, but I had groups of women wave and say hello as I puffed past them, knees going thirteen to the dozen. Rishi was loving this, and he would zoom past me urging me to catch him and as soon as I stood on the pedals and put some power into it the chain would come off! I didn’t have the heart to beat the kid in a race anyway…..

The walls and ceiling of the temple are covered in murals and Rishi was a mine of information and he was able to name most of the gods and kings on the paintings. He told me stories about some of the kings and was eager to show me every nook and cranny. I gave him one of my cameras and showed him how to use it and he went around taking photos of the murals and any bird that he could find. We stayed there for just over an hour and then went for a cycle around the town and visited two more temples. I bought him a packet of peanuts and a bottle of Sprite and let him play a couple of games of chess on my computer as a thank you. I then downloaded the photographs he had taken and he proudly showed them off to his parents. He then did some work on them in Photoshop and his parents couldn’t believe what he could do to the photographs. I was a bit surprised actually as he’s picked it up really quickly and is pretty confident around the keyboard.

It was just after this that I broke the news to him that I was leaving town tomorrow and he got upset. He told me that I was his friend and wanted to know when I was going to come back and see him. I told him that I might be back this way in two months and if I am I’ll stay at this guesthouse again and see him. He then wanted some photographs of us together, so I got his little brother to take some. He asked me what time I’ll be leaving at and I told him it would probably be around 09:00, he smiled, and told me that he would come and see me at 07:00! I told him that that would be a little early and that when I’m up and dressed I’ll go out into the courtyard to say hello.

I was meeting up with Andy at 20:00 so I went down to the square at 19:30 and sat down near the temple in our “usual” spot. I noticed a group of women sitting on a raised platform (well I could hardly miss them as they were sitting down about three feet from where I was sitting), banging drums and singing. I was only there for about a minute when I noticed out of the corner of my eye, some guy making a beeline for me. Sure enough he comes over, puts one foot on the ledge I was sitting on and he’s thrusting his groin forward in a pose that was more gay than macho. He asked me where I was from and I told him, he then starts saying, “fan, fan”, I asked him what he meant and he repeated himself. I hadn’t a clue what he was going on about and wished he would get out of my face and go away. I stood up and he starts talking to me in Hindi and I hadn’t a notion what he was trying to say, he then goes and gets some old guy and brings him over. My new “friend” then remembers a few more words of English, which were, “him, hungry”, I told him that there are a lot of hungry people in India and I can’t feed them all. He didn’t understand.

He started talking to the old guy again and I get approached by a well dressed young guy (was I sitting on the gay bench?), he asked me if I’d been to Agra and I told him I had and he wanted to know if I liked it. I didn’t know what angle to reply to the question, was he a local who didn’t like Agra? I took an easy option and said that it was “nice”. He was delighted with this answer and a big smile appeared on his face, he said, “me from Agra” and he walked off still beaming. It was about 17:55 by this stage and there was no sign of Andy, so I decided to see if he was still at our “local” restaurant. As I was walking off the first guy starts to follow me and I ignored him and he eventually got the hint. Andy was sitting down having a fruit salad when I got there and I asked him if he’d already eaten, but he just had the fruit salad whilst he waiting for me. We had agreed not to go to the temple this evening so we settled down and ordered some food, Andy opting for chips and I had the Thali.

We got speaking to the owner, who we’ve come to know pretty well at this stage. He’s just had all three of his fridges pack in and has been quoted 7000 Rupees (nearly £100 GBP) to get them repaired, which is a lot of cash in these here parts. His wife (Rani) is really nice, fantastic looking and very friendly. She’s now either 25, 26 or 27, she’s not sure which, as she doesn’t know her birthday! She is from a small village outside Orchha and had an arranged marriage when she was about 17 (so she could have been 15) and she has four children. Her children are really good kids and I have played cards with them on numerous occasions. Ram is six years old and by the looks of it, he’s going to take over the family business in the next few years. This kid loves cooking, and he’s always to be found in the kitchen with his arms across naked flames making chappaties or chai. I’ve got a couple of photographs of him with bare feet, standing on his tippie toes stirring a pan of boiling milk, something that is not encouraged in most restaurants in Europe!

Birds at sunrise

Birds take to the air at sunrise - Orchha

Orchha 4th May 2006

I finally got around to visiting the biggest temple in the town yesterday. The Raj Mahal really dominates the town and I’ve a great view of it from my guesthouse, as I knew I was staying in town for a while I saved going there until near the end of my time here.

It’s a wonderful abandoned temple / royal palace and it’s full of nooks, crannies and hard to find staircases. I virtually had the place to myself for the three hours I explored there. I ended up sitting in one of the look out towers at the very top of the palace, which gave excellent views out over the town and surrounding countryside. I sat there for over an hour watching over a dozen eagles (gid) gliding on the thermals and listening to the singing from a nearby temple as a warm sirocco blew.

I got back to the guesthouse in the early afternoon to give Rishi a computer lesson and he then went through the Hindi numbers with me. I met up with Andy, Will and Liz in the early evening and had something to eat before saying farewell to Will and Liz. They are making their way to Diu in South Gudgerat.

Thursday was spent playing cricket and chess with the kids from the guesthouse. The little girl here (7 years old), whose name I can never remember, told me that I am now here Uncle. She hasn’t got much English, so she always speaks to me in Hindi and Rishi (10 years old) translates. Rishi and his sister wanted to bring me to the Laxmi temple, which is 1km from the guesthouse, they brought me there yesterday and we had a really good time. Rishi is really confident for a 10 year old and when I went to buy water, the guy in the shop tried to charge me 15 Rupees and I told him that it was normally 12 Rupees. Rishi then starts giving out to the guy in the shop for overcharging me! It was really funny watching a 10 year old arguing with a shopkeeper and winning!

There is a hill leading up to the temple and I huffed and puffed my way up it, the two kids sprinted up! We were stopped at the door by someone asking to see my ticket, when I told him I hadn’t got one he offered to take 50 Rupees off me and let me in – he didn’t have a paper ticket to give me though, so we didn’t go in. We hung around there for ten minutes or so and Rishi pointed out all the local landmarks and was really good with all the temple names. On the way back I bought them some crisps, Sprite and some sweets. Rishi had a go at the guy in the shop (who tried to scam me out of 5 Rupees {about 6 pence}) and the guy sheepishly gave me the correct change. Rishi was concerned that everyone was trying to charge me extra, I had to explain to him that this happens all the time because everyone thinks that we have loads of money. He then brought me to see a couple of the new hotels in the town and I hadn’t got the heart to tell him that I’d already been in them.

I had a couple of Sadu’s (Holy Men) hand out their hands for money as we passed them on the road and Rishi wanted to know why they were all making funny gestures with their hands!

In the evening I went down to the main square to give some photographs to some children. They had asked me to take photos of them a couple of days earlier, so I thought that it would be nice to give them copies. Their parents were there when I got there and they were delighted with the photos and the kids asked me take some more of them! I was running a bit late to get to the temple to meet Andy, so I told them that I’d come back tomorrow and take some then.

Andy and I had something to eat, I ordered chips and bread and had my first chip buttie since Sapa, Vietnam and it was lovely. We got talking to a couple, she is Japanese and he is Italian and they were really nice. Turns out that he has lived in London for twelve years and has spent the last three months in Japan with his girlfriend. She’s a student in Toyko and he helps teach autistic kids in London

Rishi & Angeli

Rishi and Angeli from the Ganpati Guesthouse, Orchha.

Tandori Nights - Orchha 2nd May 2006

I met up with Will, Liz and Andy for breakfast, well, it was more brunch as it had gone mid-day, which was still pretty early for Will and Liz! I ended up playing cards with the owners kids again, but not for long as one of them (Lachme) started screaming the place down when his sister wouldn’t let him run off with the cards. Lachme is around two years of ages, but he’s a right handful.

I went off for a walk down by the river and then around the town and met up with the others back at the guesthouse. I ended up playing cricket with Rishi (owners son) and his friend and was knackered after playing for over half an hour. I then got one of the staff here to get me an ariel lead for the TV as the one on my TV was missing. Once I got the TV working I crashed out for the afternoon watching BBC World and caught up with the news (which I haven’t heard for a couple of weeks).

We decided to give the “happy-clappy” temple a miss in the evening and went for a posh meal instead. There is a five star hotel on the edge of town and we decided to go there for something to eat as Will and Liz are leaving tomorrow (how can they leave this place?). The hotel is built in the style of one of the ruined forts and is pretty stunning looking, unlike their buffet. We asked to see a menu and we were directed to the buffet, the buffet cost 450 rupees (£6 GBP), and looked as though it hadn’t been touched all evening, which seeing as there was only two other people in the restaurant was quite likely. We declined their kind offer of a discount to eat from the buffet and ordered from the menu. It was 20:00 and I hadn’t eaten all day and I was really hungry and ordered a whole tandori chicken, steamed rice, a bottle of mineral water and a beer. I’m not looking through rose tinted specs here, but my mother used to make better tandori chicken than I got. There was just no taste to it, my mothers used to rock. My bill came to 620 rupees (about £8 GBP) and I could have got a far superior meal anywhere else in the town for a tenth of that.

Raj Mahal

Raj Mahal - Orchha

Orchha 1st May 2006

I didn’t sleep much last night because of the heat, which was stifling. I was wide- awake at 05:30 and decided to get up and have a shower and go down to the river to watch the sunrise. I got up had a shower, got dressed, put on my watch and noticed that it was 02:45, I had misread my watch in the dark! I got undressed again and tried to get back to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come. I read until 05:00 and then went down to the river, I was obviously not the only one who couldn’t sleep, as there were dozens of people heading the same way (I take it they normally get up at this time unlike me).

I sat down on one of the big boulders on the riverbed, but people kept on coming over to say hello, and I wasn’t in the mood to answer the Usual Questions ™, so I had to get away from there. There is an ancient abandoned temple (as most of them are here in Orchha) right on the riverbank, so I went in there as Andy told me that you’re able to climb to the roof and very few people go there. I scrambled over some loose rocks and found the stairs up to the first level and sat there for a few minutes looking at people swim / bathe and wash their clothes in the river. I then located the stairs for the 2nd floor and started to ascend. I heard a high-pitched sound and felt two things knock into me, I nearly sh1t myself. I took out my torch and looked around, there were several bats clinging to the walls! I took the sensible option and found another staircase (thankfully bat free) as I didn’t want to pay another visit to the doc for further injections.

The view from the roof was spectacular. I could see across most of the town and had great views of the other temples, there were also hundreds of birds starting to wake. At one stage I counted eleven vultures on the temple domes / spires and there were dozens of green parrots flitting from tree to tree. Occasionally a vulture would fly from one dome to that of another temple, which was an amazing sight. I sat there for three hours and had to drag myself away to get some more water. I felt really privileged to be sitting so close to the vultures and parrots going about their morning business, and I did have to look around once or twice to see if Gandalf was in the vicinity. I was only briefly disturbed by four locals who were together after about two hours.

I went and got some breakfast when I finished at the temple and then went back to my guesthouse. After a couple of minutes chilling out, Rishi, knocked on my door and asked if he could play a game, so I gave him my ipod and he played with the games on that for a couple of hours while I chatted with Will and Liz.

We just tried to chill out for the rest of the day, which is not easy, when the temperature is pushing 40 degrees centigrade. The evening was spent at prayers in the temple by the market and stood back and listened to the chanting and singing – as nice way to spend an evening.

Temples Orchha

View of some of the abandoned temples in Orchha from Betwa River.

Mad Sunday - Orchha 30th April 2006

At the Isle of Man TT races there is a certain Sunday that the racetrack is open to all and sundry and as there are no speed limits outside of the main towns, the day is known as Mad Sunday. There are usually a couple of tourists / riders killed every year, mostly German for some reason. I discovered today that Orchha has something similar.

Today there were two hundred and one weddings in the town. No sh1t. I have come to love Orchha for its unimposing style, friendly locals, and lack of tourists – that was all thrown out the window today. Someone had told me that the weddings were taking place and gave me the location, it was a couple of km’s outside the town so I took my motorbike and tried to find where it was all going down. As soon as I got outside the guesthouse I needn’t have worried about not finding the wedding location as the street was jammed full of tractors pulling trailers full of people, buses, trucks, cows / ox pulling cart loads of people, tuk – tuk’s overloaded with people (some even standing on the rear bumpers), overloaded cars, off roaders, motorbikes, bicycles and hundreds of people walking. It was chaos. It took me nearly half an hour to get the couple of km’s and there was a sea of people spilling from all directions. It was a really stressful ride, as I had to concentrate on dodging all of the above vehicles using any space on the road to make forward progress. It was too crazy to hang around there and I wasn’t sure if I could go into the temple anyway, so I headed back to the town to get some lunch.

The town was over run with Indian tourists and they were beeping their horns at every opportunity and throwing rubbish anywhere and everywhere. My usual quite restaurant was overtaken by them as well, so I just had a sandwich so I could get out of there as soon as possible. While I was sitting there a big off roader pulled out blasting everyone with it’s bloody horn, and seven guys jumped out of if. It was hilarious, they were dressed as though they had just returned from a Saturday Night Fever convention. One of the guys was wearing black stone wash denim jeans, they were so tight that he probably had to be poured into them, and to go with this he was wearing a bright red shirt with big collars and a really naff pattern stitched on the back of it in black thread. They were all holding mobile phones and came into the restaurant and ordered ice-cream and stood around posing for ten minutes before getting back in to the off roader and leaving us in peace.

I was about to head off and I bumped into Andy, he updated me on the football scores and I went back to the guesthouse then, as I had to give the kid in the guesthouse a computer lesson at 14:00. The kid and his sister turned up at about 14:15 and said; “sorry, sleeping” and I asked him what he wanted to do. He chose to do more Photoshop, so I let him play around with three photographs over the course of an hour and I’d help him when he got stuck, I’m surprised how much he remembered from his first “lesson”. He then wanted to play a game, and the only games I’ve got on my laptop are Sodoku and chess and he said that he knew how to play chess. And sure enough he managed to beat the computer on his first go (I only gave him a bit of a help when he asked), he then went and got a friend and they played a game against each other. I was then offered a ride on the kid’s bicycle! An honour indeed. I had to decline though, as I wanted to get down to the market and catch the vultures (well, not literally catch them as that would be a little bit stupid) as they roosted.

I got down there and bumped in Titto and he wanted me to go down to his restaurant, I told him that I probably wouldn’t be popping down today as I’d arranged to meet Will, Liz and Andy for dinner. I went into the temple and there were a couple of guys hanging around near the entrance, two of them followed me in. I took out my camera and one of them came over and asked me if I had a ticket, I told him that I didn’t know you needed one. He told me that it was twenty rupees entrance fee and thirty rupees for the camera and that I could give him the money. I asked him if he had a ticket on him and he said, “no, just give me the money, will be ok”, I told him that would be fine as soon as he shows me his identification, which, surprise surprise, he didn’t have. I couldn’t be arsed arguing with him and wasn’t 100% sure that the temple was free (it’s abandoned, so there may be a fee for conservation work) so I got out of there. I bumped into Will and Liz in the square and they told me that they had never been asked for tickets and as far as they knew it was free. They were a bit upset that this type of thing is creeping in Orchha, as it had always been a hassle free town.

Will had a good story about something that happened earlier that afternoon. Him and Andy were sitting having a chai near the temples and they heard an argument break out beside them. When they looked over there was about six Eunuchs (caste of hermaphrodites) shouting at each other and they ended up being about two foot away from Will. One of them then pulls up his / her Sari and gives will and Andy an eye full of something that I’m not going to describe. Let’s just say it wasn’t a pleasant sight by all accounts.

We met Krishna (18 month old kid) and his sister and father, Krishna is a blonde Indian kid (the only one I’ve seen) and he has the dark make up around his eyes. Liz knows the sister pretty well and I’d taken some photos of them the night before, but as soon as they seen me they wanted more photos taken. Queue and endless succession of kids pursuing me around the square, wanting to have their photos taken. Not just kids mind, one elderly man who was with his family, kept on calling over for me to take their photo. It took me over ten minutes before I could put my camera away, so much for having to ask permission to take photos of people! Will ended up calling me the Pied Piper as everywhere I went I was pursued by the kids wanting more photos! I’m going to get some of them printed and give them to them before I leave town (when ever that will be).

We then went into the temple at 20:00 for prayers and after that we had something to eat. I had a lovely Thali, the nicest I’ve had in ages and washed it down with a mango shake and a couple of cups of masala tea. The “love cow” popped by, but again paid me no attention and this time nuzzled up to Liz, I feel really rejected!

I only have eyes for moo

Will "gets down" with the Love Cow

Will and the Love Cow - 29th April 2006

I bumped into Will in the garden in the morning and was yapping away with him for a half an hour or so, he had been here five years ago and it was interesting to hear how much the town had changed in that time. Turns out the town didn’t even have a phone connection back then! Liz then came out of the room and some guy they know (Andy from Telford) dropped in, so we all went to lunch. I had an omelette and chips and was absolutely stuffed after it (first time I’ve had lunch in ages), and it was nice to have some plain food.

We sat in the restaurant for about two hours and Liz went off to check her email and Andy left about twenty minutes later to have a siesta. As Will and I were sitting there, one of the owners kids came out and put a deck of playing cards on the table in front of me and motioned to me to shuffle them. That is how I ended up playing cards with the owners four children for two hours! I hadn’t a clue what game we were playing initially, but it turns out that it’s a bit like Rummy. I went back to the guesthouse after that and met up with Will and Liz and we decided to go to one of the local temples to watch prayers.

The temple opens at 20:00, so we had about ¾ of an hour to kill and we sat in the square and ended up talking to loads of pilgrims and playing chasing with the kids. There are a couple of vultures that roost on the roof of the temple and they look majestic. Tomorrow we are going to go there at 17:00 and climb to the roof and we can watch them nest for the night – I just hope that they will have had sufficient food and don’t fancy a foreign take-away. Some of the little kids have got black make-up around their eyes and it looks like they are into Goth music, but apparently the make up is to make them look ugly to the Spirits so that they won’t take their kids away from them. I got some good photos and will try and post them on my site, if I can find a fast enough Internet connection.

At 20:00, we made our way into the temple and had to hand over our footwear, bags, cameras and any leather objects we had or were wearing. When we went in there were about 100 worshipers in there (not very many by normal standards) and they were chanting in front of two statues. Some people were lying prostrate on the floor and others were going around kissing the floor and steps. In the midst of this, kids were running around, doing forward rolls, trying to nick our water and having a good time. About fifteen minutes in everyone started clapping hands, singing loudly and turning around in circles. I have five or six vinyl records of gospel music which was recorded in the southern states of America in the early 1900’s (Willie Lomax re-issues) and this is the closest I’ve come to hearing something similar in real life, it was absolutely fascinating and we got loads of greetings from the Sadu’s (holy men).

The prayers lasted for forty-five minutes and we went to have something to eat at a restaurant that Liz, Will and Andy knew sold beer. We sat there for three hours and shared five beers between us, and Will and Andy had to fight off the advances of an amours cow! It really was quite funny as the cow came along and started licking Andy’s arm (presumably to get the salt off it) and then the back of his neck. A couple of VIP’s from the BJP party sat down at the table next to us (the owner told us who they were) and all the time that sat there they were giving Liz dagger looks, presumably because she was sitting with three men and drinking and smoking. Although they did lighten up when the “love cow” came back and started licking Will, I felt really rejected as I was the only one the “love cow” didn’t make a move on!

Ram Cooking

Ram is 6 years old and can be found cooking at all hours in his father's restaurant "Rama Raj" in Orchha.

Orchha 28th April 2006

After my emergency water run this morning, I went back to bed to try and get some rest. I dozed off and got up at 09:40 as I had arranged to meet The Boss and he was going to take me around the temples. When I got to the restaurant I met Chef (Titto) and told him that I was meeting The Boss, he just laughed and said,” boss drink too much beer last night”. I spent the rest of the morning wandering around town greeting / getting greeted by the locals and drinking lots of water and masala chai. I got back to my guesthouse and sat in the garden with my laptop to update some photos so that I could post them on the Internet.

As I was sitting there the owners son (Rishi) came down to me and started chatting, he’s ten years old and has excellent English. He was really interested in what I was doing and he asked me if I would teach him how to use the computer. So for the next two hours I sat down with him and taught him some of the basics of Photoshop. He really got the hang of it and he enjoyed adding extra arms and eyes to people! His sister who is seven came to see what we were doing, so I let her listen to my ipod, I wandered off to talk to an English couple who are staying here (Liz and Will from Stafford), they teach English in Korea and are meandering back to England for a couple of months before returning to Korea, and the kids were perfectly happy to work away on their own. When I had to go out, the kid asked me if I would give him another lesson at 14:00 tomorrow, I told him that I would if I was around. I’ll print off some of the photos that he was working on so that he can show his family / friends.

I was invited to a wedding in the evening (so many weddings, so little time), actually to be correct it was the family feast the day before the actual wedding. It was Tittos’ uncles wedding and we went to his house, which is just outside the town. When I got there I was motioned to a seat and suddenly I had fifteen kids around me sitting in a circle, I had met some of them the night before and they all wanted me to take photos of them. I was having a good time playing with the kids until a couple of the elders came and shooed them away from me and they sat down. Then I got asked the usual questions and a few about how much my watch cost, sandals etc, I wished they would bugger off and bring the kids back!

I managed to get away from the elders when the meal was served and ended up sitting beside three of Tittos uncles who were really nice and I had a good laugh with them. The food was served on plates made from coconut leaves and was a really nice Thali, they even brought me a spoon to eat with. I surprised them (and myself) by eating the food Indian style (with my hands) and they all laughed and told me that I was an “Indian Foreigner”, which I think was meant in a good way! I was then asked to take some photos of Tittos family and went into the house and took some shots, I asked them if we could go outside (to use the house as a backdrop) and I continued to take photos.

That was until I felt something grab my right calf and bite! I had been attacked and bitten by the family dog, which was a bloody big mutt. Thinking about it, the mutt walked in seen his whole “family” up against the wall and the camera flashing, so I suppose he was trying to protect them, and it worked! Everyone said, “no problem, no problem”, but I told them that I had to go to a hospital and get an injection and the wound cleaned (he had punctured my calf in two places and it was bleeding). It was after 22:00 at this stage and we had to wake the local doctor up, he cleaned the wound, gave me four pills to take and he dressed my leg. He told me to come back in the morning and he would give me an injection and also not to worry about rabies, as it was a family dog and there is no rabies in the area. I’m glad that I got a course of three injections for rabies before I left the London though.

I returned to Tittos house and the party was kicking off. I was ordered to sit down and have some food, I had only eaten about an hour before and couldn’t possibly eat more, but I thought that I’d better make an effort, as I didn’t want to insult anyone. I sat down and was nearly force fed a really sweet dessert and I thought that I did well not to gag, next think I knew someone was trying to feed me curried chick peas, so I ended up having one side of my mouth filled with dessert and the other half filled with curry! Titto eventually rescued me by shouting at my captors and taking the food away. I was then brought to another house and was given some whiskey (No.8), and for a race that are not meant to drink, the old boys in the house were certainly putting some amount of it away. I managed to get away just after midnight and the music was blaring out as me and the Enfield putt-putted down the road.

All aboard

All aboard
Originally uploaded by ampr1150gs.

"Plenty of room on top", train near Gwalior.

Orchha 27th April 2006

I met up with the chef and his friend this morning and we went for a swim in the river (Betwa), well he had a swim, a wash and cleaned his clothes at the same time; I had a paddle as although the river is meant to be the cleanest in India, it looked a bit stagnant and green to me. It was a great experience to be with locals and actually feel part of the goings on, rather than just turn up, take a photo and scoot off. The chef (I must try to remember his name!) asked me if he could have a go on my motorbike. I’ve never seen him ride a bike, but I remember how I used to like going on other peoples bikes when I was his age (22) and he told me he rode his bosses Enfield, so I gave him a go.

I freely admit that I did start to get a bit worried when he hadn’t returned after half an hour, as he said that he was only going around the town (five minutes at a stretch). I thought that he might have gone to his brothers house to show him my bike, but then I got the feeling that he had stalled the bike (not hard as it needed the service) and I had visions of him trying to kick start it and having no luck. Sure enough, I got a call from the guy in the roadside shop and he told me to “come, come”. When I got to the road I saw the chef wheeling my bike down the road, he nearly collapsed when I took the bike off him! He told me that it had cut out at the market (a good five minutes walk away, if you’re not pushing a heavy bike!) and that he had to push it up the hill and past the mechanic! I told him that he should have just dropped it off with the mechanic!

We called into the mechanic and I got my motorbike serviced, and then went back to his restaurant and had a couple of bottles of water and a good chat. I let him play a couple of the games on my ipod and I chilled out in front of a fan and listened to some Hindi music on the stereo. He asked me to show him some other bames on the ipod, and the only one I hadn’t shown him was Music Quiz. This game plays a snippet of one of the songs on the ipod and gives you a choice of four possible artists that it could be. I never showed him this one before because he wouldn’t have a clue who most of the artists are. But when I went to show him I got a message on the screen saying that there were no songs to pick. This was a bit worrying as I should have over 9,300 songs on there! I went to the main menu and checked the albums list and it was blank, as was the song list and genre list. This was bad news as I’d cleared all of the songs from my computer to free up space for my photos. I was a little bit shell shocked at this news as I’m now without any music for the next six months!

We gave the mechanic a good three hours before we went to see him; we should have given him four! When I got there I found my bike in several pieces and the mechanic trying to kick start it, I was worried! There is a knack to kick starting the bike, it used to be simple, but as it needs a service there are a couple of little “teases” that you have to do. I went up, got hold of the bike and started it second kick! At one stage I must have had half the town around the bike and I counted fifteen men standing around pointing, prodding and pondering – not a sign to instill confidence! Anyway to cut a long story short, the bike is fine and starts first kick again. I did get a bit worried when it came to paying the bill though. Lonely Planet says that it should cost between 10,000 and 15,000 Rupees to get a bike serviced (about £120 - £150 GBP), god knows where they came up with this figure. I had two of the mechanics and the owner around a piece of paper totting up the total, so I got a little bit concerned. I shouldn’t have worried, the bill came to 560 Rupees, which is about £7.00 GBP.

I went for a spin to check out the bike and ended up on the edge of some jungle, so I stopped there and took a couple of photos before heading back towards the town. I came across a sign for ByPass Road, this intrigued me as not that much traffic comes through the town and the big vehicles (i.e. tourist buses) go through the town to the forts and temples anyway. The by-pass road was excellent on a motorcycle as it was bendy and had lots of “ups and downs”, but it looked as though it was built when they found that they had some extra tarmac left over. It wasn’t very wide at all and if two vehicles met head on, one of them would have to go off road to get by. I did end up by Laxmi temple though, which is on the highest point of the town and had great views. I then went back to my guesthouse and connected my ipod to my laptop to see if I could see if I could find the missing songs. The songs were still on my ipod which was good news, but for some reason they I couldn’t access them unless I was plugged up to the computer. I’ll have to go on the internet when I get a chance and get instructions on how to reset my ipod and hopefully that’ll solve the problem. I did have my ipod connected to my laptap when the electricity went off the night before, so maybe there was a power surge that has done some damage?

I went back to the chef’s restaurant as he was bringing me to have lunch with his family in the evening. When I got there he was sitting with his boss and they offered me a beer. I politely declined as it was around 17:30 and I hadn’t eaten for twenty-four hours. I asked the boss if the restaurant gets busy in high season, and he told me that he didn’t want customers! It turns out that his dad is the Chief of Police for the district and also the Forest Commissioner. He himself is the main distributor for Coca Cola, Lays crisps etc. etc. in the district and the only reason he bought the restaurant was that he and his friends could have somewhere to drink in the evenings! No other restaurant in the area sells alcohol and it’s a real cloak and dagger operation to buy from a shop. I’m probably the first customer that he’s had in months! He’s really happy about it though and can afford to pay his two staff to sit around and watch TV all day!

Me and the chef then went to a shop off the by-pass road and after twenty minutes of hanging around we managed to get five beers. On the way there we passed a group of elderly people and I noticed one guy walking with them using a cane. There was something about him seemed unusual, so I had another glance as I rode past him. The guy was bollock naked! The funny think is that no one batted an eyelid and he went about his business (what ever that maybe). I believe that he is a Sadhu, which is a very holy man and that there are loads like him in Varanassi and they have first call on bathing at the ghats, so maybe he was on his way down to the river to bathe – I’m just glad that I went there in the morning.

We then picked up his brother and went up to the Laxmi Temple and sat up there listening to music on my laptop and drinking beer looking down over the town. A pleasant way to spend an evening. We then went back to his house and I met his extended family, I lost count of the number of sisters, brothers, cousins, aunties and uncles that I met. I had a lovely chicken curry whilst everyone sat around and watch me eat it! I got the chance to take photos of his family and got some nice ones of the brothers with their mother, I’ll print them for them before I leave town (presuming I ever get away from here that is!).

I got back to the guesthouse at about 22:30 and found that I’d left the light on, not a good idea, as I discovered as soon as I opened the door. There were dozens of crickets in my room, they were everywhere, there were even more in the bathroom. I know that I ate loads of crickets and locust in Bangkok, but they were in soy sauce! I spent the best part of an hour killing them and more kept on appearing! I eventually hit on the idea of using my deodorant as a flame-thrower and held a lighter in front of the nozzle and sprayed. This did the trick and the smell of burning crickets filled the room! I was covered in sweat and finished the last of my water (there were no shops open on the way back to get some more), which wasn’t good. I had real problems getting to sleep due to the heat and my throat was dry and I was gasping for a drink. It got so bad that I had to resort to drinking some water from the bathroom taps, so I’ll probably get sick from that, but I really had no choice at the time. The bed sheet and pillow was drenched in sweat and even the thought of a Dire Straits song, couldn’t get me to sleep. At 07:00 I got up and went to see if I could find a shop that was open and luckily I found one. I bought three litres of water and a bottle of Sprite, I drank one litre of water in two gulps and finished off the Sprite, the other two litres are staying in my room just in case.